September 29, 2007

Men Should Read This One

For the guys:

Thanks to Single Christian Man, I found a real gem by the writer Paul Coughlin (Although I am not entirely sold on his "No More Christian Nice Guy" message. I think men should worry more about pleasing God then pleasing the pundits in one camp or another.). Anyway, you can read it by clicking here. There is a war against us, gentlemen. Whether it is feminism, estrogelicalism, or mossback Marlboro-Man authoritarianism, it amounts to the same thing: hostility towards men. If churches would stand up against the nonsense that faces us, articles like the one I linked to would not have to be written.


Anonymous singlechristianman said...

The only cautionary note I would sound: Let us remember that we struggle not with flesh and blood (people) but with powers, principalities...etc.

We must not attempt to minister out of woundedness. Remember the Priests in the OT sacrificial system who had to be examined for blemishes before they were ritually clean before they could offer sacrifies? I believe that this was a "type and shadow" of this current dispensation... and how we need to be sure we do not minister out of our hurts and wounds (you are suspicious because you are asking hard questions, dating, or dating outside of authority, or because you are single, etc.) This would never bear lasting fruit; even though by these woundings and offenses (received, at times, in church) we may have to come to understandings that we would previously not have had. From a place of healing about those things, though, mayhaps we can speak with more authority.

We must also not adopt the mindset of "us good, you bad" with those who are not hearing our cry for full biblical inclusion, without prejudice, in the body. For those who are predisposed to hear us, nothing will turn them off more than complaints that are ill founded. For those who offer no offense to single christian men in their fellowships, then I commend you and ask you to hear the thoughts of single christian men speaking to issues important to them with an open mind.

9/30/07, 10:20 PM  
Blogger Captain Singleness said...

I agree with singlechristianman for the most part. I don't think any of the men in this debate are frustrated or angry with women in the churches.

We are simply NOT finding a lot of traditionally-minded women. When we continue to hear from these many single women that all they want is "good Christian men" to marry, we have a suspicion that there is much more going on.

When Debbie Maken (who speaks for a lot of these single women -like it or not!) claims a good husband is one who gets facials and pays for "many luxury vacations"...well, I understand now why men are backing away from marriage - and sometimes from even the society of women.

The men aren't bitter, but they will tell you exactly the way things are. We don't blame women for the decisions they take or attitudes they adopt; we merely illustrate that any choice has consequences. For many women, it will mean never finding a husband.

For a lot of women, it isn't their fault at all. However, for the larger group of single women, it is a matter of turning away - too much from tradition, femininity and the leadership of a Christian man.

I know women want to be careful; want to find a Christian man who is truly walking the right path, and they ALSO need to be certain we are seeing the same things in their behavior.

Otherwise, the numbers of singles will continue to rise.

10/1/07, 3:17 PM  
Anonymous jason said...

I wonder what Debbie Maken would make of this guy who lives off his wifes earnings?

I mean, what good is a so-called Christian man who can't provide his wife with many luxury vacations and weekend trips at the Naples Ritz Carlton?

10/1/07, 4:18 PM  
Anonymous singlechristianman said...

We need, I think, be mindful to discriminate between cases when anti-male thinking is present and cases when anti-masculine thinking is present, so that we don't confuse ourselves, or others. An example of the first would be "women are more spiritual", an example of the second would be "just listen to what the preacher says and take it at face value instead of questioning [trying to gain deeper understanding] things".

10/3/07, 11:36 AM  
Anonymous youngbeliever said...


10/4/07, 8:33 AM  
Blogger Captain Singleness said...


Thank you for the link about Orthodox Christianity. I can see why it appeals to men. So much more serious than the Oprah Winfrey Christianity adopted by most mainline Protestant denominations and promoted by Boundless and the many feminine pastors.

I suspect more Orthodox and fundamentalist flavors of Christianity are going to grow over time while the "Lifetime network" Christian churches will basically serve the emotional needs of a few more generations of women before they die out. This is a good thing; the feminine worship experience isn't good for anyone. It is just too bad that most pastors don't see the problem.

10/4/07, 10:38 AM  
Anonymous curiepoint said...

I am a believer in nourishing one's spiritual being and walking more closely with the Lord through the Bible, and through fellowship of like-minded, spiritually driven people. The conventional denominational churches have long become productized, mass packaged, and rubber-stamped in what they deliver. Like Madison Avenue, they fill the pews with people who find this mass marketed message appealing. Just as in the Earthly realm where products are advertised and sold to those who control the purse strings, so too do these churches incentivize to the herd mentality.

I can readily boycott products advertized in this manner, and I apply the same to churches. Unfortunately, the do no buy list is quite long and getting longer in the commercial space of life; so too is the list of churches.

Appeals to exclusionary concepts and bigotry may enrich one's wallet and make a nice fat black line on the profit sheet, but in the manner of marshalling souls, that black mark appears on one's heart. The priests, ministers, reverends, and deacons would do well to consider this.

10/28/07, 7:59 AM  

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